Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? Why was the tomato blushing? The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes. If you have to force it, it's probably crap. Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters. How did George Washington describe things? In general terms. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". He said, OK. Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son." Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport? Because its way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Who was the youngest US president? BABE Lincoln. ** I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. and please let me know what it is when you've found it. Whos there? Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln who? Seriously? You must have done terrible in history class. If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey. Reply. ** Manage Settings The training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. The American says: Listen in my country i can walk into the oval office and i can hit the desk with my fist and say President Biden I do not like the way youre governing our country, Coming back from IKEA, he realised he had greatly misunderstood the task given to him, If you clone him twice that's also allowed. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? Abraham Stinkin. Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! Clinton replied, "Boxers". When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the . I live in the UK now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat? To keep his head warm! Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Ginger Jokes; Comedian Jokes; World's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? Which one of Washingtons officers had the best sense of humor? Laughafayette. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". Putin puffed his chest out and said, I am the President Of Russia. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain.". What was George Washingtons favorite tree? What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. None, theyre meant to keep the president in the dark. ", says the boy. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically hollers: Screw the women!. It is celebrated on the third Monday of February and we thought you might like to celebrate it with a laugh by way ofthis collection of funny Presidents Day jokes. They immediately ran back back to their ship, and started their assault.. Aides say he was merely taking a Covfefe break. Liked these presidential jokes? TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . Toggle navigation "What's that guy doing?" He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump? It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension. "MOM!! In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt hosted a good old-fashioned wiener roast when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth visited the U.S. in 1939. God: Joseph R. Biden I was born in 1846, he was born in 1946. If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington By Dan Zak April 27, 2016 at 10:31 a.m. EDT Ike, Dick, Bill, Barack, Ron and George enjoy a good laugh. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Biden waved them off, saying, "Never mind boys, I'll get it. 8. What rock group has four guys who dont sing? Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine. Why were the apple and the orange all alone? Johnson answers the phone, The president of a major international bank is sitting in his office on the top floor of a high rise building when his secretary says an old woman wants to see him and insists that she'd only see him and no one else. Click here for more information. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. Never take a nose from a clown, or else, you risk getting caught red handed. One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill. God agrees. Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. The President decides to give them a test. He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.. Ape Lincoln! Bill Gates said, NO. Tickle your funny bone with the best Reader's Digest jokes of all time. Brittney says, "America is the best! While Jesus is showing him round, he spots a broken clock. We recommend our users to update the browser. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com, iStock/Thomas Seybold, NICOLE FORNABAIO/RD.COM, ISTOCK/THOMAS SEYBOLD, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), presidents who have surprising hidden talents, the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughing, the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy, fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school, the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. Taxi driver just grinned and said give me a clue? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. \*\* "Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." We try to keep it cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate. I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" Such a deal maker. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50 25. A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants! 3. 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. George Bush has ***ked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! There are two muffins baking in the oven. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. George Burns. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election? In class one day, the teacher pulled little Johnny over to her desk after a test, and said, Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach? Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election! We hope you enjoy them! Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though. 15. President: "No!" We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. Its the Abortion Bill, Mr. President what do you want to do about it?. After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump. Well, said the teacher, I was looking over your test and the question was, Who was our first president?, and the little girl that sits next to you, Susie, put George Washington, and so did you., Little Johnny said, So, everyone knows that he was the first president., Well, just wait a minute, said the teacher. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Jokes About Presidents' Day If you enjoyed our funny Presidents' Day jokes, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, including our Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents' Day trivia questions, as well as these: Donald Trump Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Halloween Jokes For Adults Joe Biden Jokes Jokes4all.net: Jokes About Presidents, Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Barack Obama, Presidential Jokes by Presidents Themselves, Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 99+ Really Good & Funny Tinder Conversation Starters You, 109 Osho Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live A Better Life, Funny Toasts: 55+ Best Your Friends Will Remember, Starbucks Jokes: Free Restroom Vs. 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